Friday, August 01, 2003

 

The Worst

Well, for my new internet friends, and for my old friends who I don't see very often, I feel that you deserve to know the real me. The whole me. The bad that comes with the good. And since the good qualities are SO glowingly obvious, I feel it's time to fess up about the not-so-good. It's honesty time. Here is the side of Krizzer you may not know....

I think my three (ok ok ok make that four, thank you Stennie) most annoying qualities are the following:

1) I'm a know-it-all
2) I'm a butt-in-ski
3) I'm self-righteous
4) I'm an art-snob

These things are all true. I know they are. I've tried to be less of a butt-in-ski recently, but it's hard. If I hear people in the next room discussing a problem or trying to fix the photocopier or something I can solve (sometimes even if I can't) I'll go in there and stick my nose in. I can't help it. I guess that's a combo of being a know-it-all and a butt-in-ski.

I'm also really self-righteous when it comes to how other people spend money. I am LOUDLY self-righteous about money spent on status symbols such as SUVs, cellphones, HDTVs, clothing, and "big houses on tiny lots." This is probably partly because I have no money to spend on these things.

Of course I'm a know-it-all. I told my friend Amy that I thought being a know-it-all was one of my worst qualities. She nodding, laughing. (She didn't need to agree with me so QUICKLY!) She said that it was probably true, but the only reason it annoys her is because I make her feel stupid sometimes. I think she's referring to the time I was "helping" her with her crossword puzzle, and the clue said "Water-going mammal" and she had written in the word "goose." I laughed and said "Goose!? A goose isn't a mammal!" She said "Well, they nuture their young!" I was confounded! She said "Well what is a goose, then?" I said "It's a bird!!!" She said "Well, I tried 'dinosaur' but that didn't fit!" Whaaaaaaaaaaaaat!? "A dinosaur isn't a mammal either!!" "Well then what is it?" God I was dying! "It's a reptile! Ask your six year old son! He knows that!!" I think I very nearly wet myself I was laughing so hard.

It turned out to be "otter."

Ok, so my fourth worst quality. I'm a snob when it comes to art - especially locally, I can't sit through a play or listen to a band without grinding my teeth. It's not that I think I'm better, (well, SOMETIMES I think I'm better). I shudder to think of some of my own performances. All I can console myself with is the knowledge that, in one performance of one play I did once, a lady laughed so hard she wet her seat. Thank GOD it was a comedy....

posted by Krizzer 5:31 PM

 

Wrong Side of the Pie

Last night Andy and I tried to go fish down at the bay for some salmon. The pinks are starting to come in, and a friend of ours mentioned he saw a bunch jumping down by the breakwater. So after work we headed down with our poles and our buzzbombs to a piece of shore near the Coast Guard Station. Except it was REALLY windy. Which means we may as well be casting our lures in the backyard - we'd get snagged just as much and come away with just as many fish. (Actually, Andy caught a starfish. How he did that, I don't know.)

So we gave it up. And decided to go with Plan B. Except we hadn't thought up a Plan B yet. I threw out many ideas. Shall we call some friends and go out and play pool? Should we go bowling? Should we call some friends and invite them over to play cards or Cranium or something? Should we work on model airplanes?

No, no no. I wasn't having any luck.

Why don't we bake a pie?

"Hmmmmm..." Andy said, "pie sounds good." Ok, we'll bake a pie. Or, rather, Andy will clean the kitchen and then entertain me with the crossword puzzle if I bake a pie. Deal. Except we couldn't decide what kind of pie to make. I was flipping through the cookbook, but Andy was already engrossed in the crossword puzzle. He'd lost interest in pie.

So we gave it up and decided to go with Plan C (which was what I wanted to do all along anyway.) We went and bought some Thomas Kemper Black Cherry Soda (that's pop to me), ice cream sandwiches, and rented a Sherlock Holmes.

(*ASIDE* Funny, I'd never consciously thought of Sherlock being a love interest of any kind, let alone a sex object, until I dreamed about him the other night. But now, watching the show, I was thinking to myself, "Yah, I guess he IS kinda sexy, in a lively, brilliant, talented charisma kind of way." Which is just weird. This is Sherlock Holmes we're talking about! *END OF ASIDE*)

(*ANOTHER ASIDE* I don't think I've EVER seen an actor enjoy playing a role as much as Jeremy Brett obviously enjoys playing Holmes. It's the most brilliant acting I've ever seen. I'm so sad, we only have two episodes left! *END OF ANOTHER ASIDE*)

ANYWAY! This morning I woke up ALL pissed OFF. I was dreaming that I was in a huge fight with Andy cause he wanted to make a pie with some other girl, not me. What a betrayal! I was still arguing about it in my head while I was in the shower! I had to tell myself "Quit it! It's just a DREAM, you dumbass!"

Do you ever have those dreams, where, even when you wake up you're still mad, or sad, or creeped out? This was one of those. I had a dream like that once, about Freddy Krueger. What's funny is I had this dream like a year ago, NOT back in high school, where it belonged. I haven't seen a Freddy Krueger movie in 15 years! But when I woke up in the middle of the night, I was terrified. Andy was right there next to me, and I had to pee really really bad, but I could NOT get out of bed. Grown woman!

Not as bad as the time I woke up with my teeth clamped around Andy's shoulder cause I'd mistakenly watched the Blair Witch Project before bed, but still pretty bad. I think I ended up going back to sleep, bladder pressure and all, just to avoid having to get out of bed.

posted by Krizzer 10:25 AM

Thursday, July 31, 2003

 

Which Reminds Me

In the Belly, where I hang my hat, I have seen many strange things.

Lately, I've been seeing VERY TALL bicycles. Have I mentioned this before? I feel like I'm repeating myself. Oh well, it's almost time to go home, I can't be bothered to scroll through all my archives.

ANYWAY, I've been seeing very tall bicycles. I mean, bikes that are basically one bike frame welded on top of another bike, and then had the gearing altered so you can pedal way up there and make the wheels turn way down there.

It's the oddest thing to see one of these bikes go by. In traffic, all you see it this bicycle flying along above the cars, the lower half of the tall bike being obscured by traffic.

I'm going to try to get a picture of one, and if I do I'll post it to my fotolog.

My question though, and I need your help here:

Has anyone else seen these Tallbikes? Or is it just a local phenomenon?

posted by Krizzer 5:22 PM

 

Jealous

It's thursday, and I have JUST NOW finished reading all of Bet's and Stennie's Blogathon 2003 entries (and of course all the comments). I found myself commenting even though I know I've missed out on the dialogue, and no one's ever going to read any of those comments. Yes, I've missed out on the fun indeed. And I'M JEALOUS!

You guys did awesome. I was really impressed with how entertaining some of your entries were, and then I'd realize that entry was written at 5 in the morning, or some awful (or aweful) hour like that!

Man, I need to get the internet hooked up at home.

posted by Krizzer 5:16 PM

 

Just for Stennie
But for everyone else too!

Let's play: Match the Penguins!

Ok, so the link didn't work like I thought, but once you enter the site, click on "Fun and Games" on the left bar and choose the Match the Penguins game (or whatever you want!)

posted by Krizzer 11:17 AM

Monday, July 28, 2003

 

Things That Happened Between Friday and Now

My car broke
I registered for my first class at Whatcom
I figured out how to play "Saturday Sun" by Nick Drake on the piano
I figured out how to transpose "Saturday Sun" into a key I can sing
I Secretly Santaed
I went pretend furniture shopping a Pier 1 Imports
I sat in the sun and read my book
I cried about my damn car
I went jogging
The dog was sent to the lock-up
I went salmon fishing with Andy
I went for drinks and greek food at Cafe Akroteri
I dreamed I was in love with Sherlock Holmes
I sucked it up and went back to work.

posted by Krizzer 3:39 PM

 

Things I Learned on the Toilet

Boy, I've been so busy catching up on all the blogging that went on over the weekend, I haven't had time to do any myself! Good job, bloggers! I wish I could have joined you this weekend, but...me come into work on Saturday? Sorry, not even for you, my beloved bloggers.

The answer to the last question is "Missionaries, because they were embarrassed by all the bare skin." Prudes!

Today's question "In Alabama, a man was once tried and convicted for wearing a ____________ to church."

Good luck!

posted by Krizzer 3:23 PM